If you’re into BDSM practices, you’ve probably got your fair share of ugly sprains, burns, bruises and deep scratches but failed to tell your doctor what caused those injuries. It’s somehow understandable to feel inhibited when it comes to discussions like this. There’s a certain stigma attached to BDSM and it’s very much of a taboo, even though it’s no novelty. With all these, it is crucial that you learn how to open up to your doctor about your injuries and stop lying (he’ll kind of get a sense of what’s happening if you have a fishhook hole in your cheek anyway).
Here are a few things you should do in order for the doctor to know how to solve your issues.
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Be direct
“My partner and I are into rough sex” – it’s this simple. As long as it’s consensual, no doctor will ever shame you for that. As knowledge-packed and experimented doctors are, they are not mind readers. Therefore, they can’t help you unless you are honest and get to the point. You don’t have to tell him/her everything, just the necessary minimum, so he/she knows how to approach things.
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Know when you have a problem
Being a kinkster isn’t a problem in itself, but BDSM can become one, especially if the relationship between partners has gone sour. If that’s the case, they might take all their anger out on themselves during kinky sex. That is NOT okay, despite what 50 Shades of Grey may portray. Obviously, this can lead to some serious injuries that need medical attention. If you’re in a relationship that has started to feel unhealthy and your BDSM practice has become increasingly cruel – much crueler than you consented with initially – you should tell your doctor immediately and consider getting out of that relationship. You should only be having consensual BDSM which has a balance between pain and pleasure with aftercare always included.
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Don’t be ashamed
You should embrace your sexuality and be aware that you’re neither the first nor the last person in the world to indulge in bondage. As long as you’re consenting with a partner who is into BDSM as well, your sexuality and tastes are perfectly normal. It doesn’t help to think that your doctor will judge and be like “Oh my God, what’s wrong with you?” You can rest assured that won’t happen. A doctor can offer the necessary psychological support only if you’re honest with who you are and what you like.
Doctors are there to help, not to judge people. For that to happen, though, you must feel at ease with yourself and what you’re into.
Conclusion
Going to the ob-gyn with a bruised cervix can be distressing, especially when you don’t want him/her to know how it came to be bruised. By not talking to the ob-gyn directly, however, you’re doing yourself a disfavour. As minor bruises and other wounds might seem, they are prone to get infected. The thing is, you’ll have to tell your doctor about your practices sooner or later anyway. Do the right thing and discuss freely with your ob-gyn about your kinks.
This way, you’ll have someone you can count on whenever sex gets a tad rough.
