Swinging has been around for years, and recently has become easier to talk about. Today we live in a digital world, everything is at our fingertips, just the click of a button or the swipe of a screen away. Relationships in the modern world are slowly becoming affected by the digital realms, Facebook even allows its users to place themselves in a “complicated” or “open” relationship.
No doubt if you are the kind of person to be in an “open” relationship on social media, you are in the realms of swinging. The question is just how to go about entering the swinging community…
Swinging Per Your Own Discretion
Trust is the first thing to remember when it comes to swinging or being in an open relationship. Be sure you are open about your ventures, let your partner read your texts or your emails, whatever it may be. Swinging can be misconstrued easily as adultery, but do not be mistaken. If you see or hear of your partner being more aroused by someone they have “swung” with, ask them what it was and how to do the same for them. Be open. There is a difference between physical intimacy and love, remember that. If you feel jealous of your partner or uncomfortable about anything, tell your partner; silence will not work in your favour. Set some limits but prepare for them to be pushed. It is important to be extremely comfortable with your partner/in your relationship. Set these limits or guidelines from day 1 and remember that there is a difference between physical intimacy and love.
Safety is key, be clean and sure. Make your partner know where you are going, who you are swinging with. Make sure your swinging partner is clean, wearing the appropriate protection and in a good mind too. It’s crucial to never dismiss any feelings, always talk and get regularly checked for STDs.
Being a people person is important for obvious reasons. Head out with your partner to clubs, go to some gigs or head to your local bar for a quiet drink or two – interact with the locals and the people around you, double date with strangers if you will. Being confident is key. This lifestyle is lavish, so should you be. If you exhibit a great personality, exude confidence and happiness you are more likely to be approached in any scenario. Taking on a new persona is understandable, especially in swinging – many swingers are not known to their swinging friends by their real names to keep worlds separate. This is totally acceptable behaviour.
Figuring out how you want to swing is an obvious step towards the swinging lifestyle. Will you be delving into this whole new world in person? Will you be approaching this digitally? You can be with locally organised swinger parties, or even go on a cruise dedicated to swinging. Budget is surprisingly relevant in the swinging world; this along with your preferences and degree of the thrill you seek would guide you towards where to start. Do you want to live out some fantasies with a stranger that you would never put your other half through?
There are plenty of different avenues in which you can begin your swinging adventures. Consider heading online first, it’s the safest and easiest way to dip your toes into the pool of swingers. You can find experienced couples or fellow rookie swingers online; the internet is full of online options for love, dating, swinging and sharing, and so much more. All you need to do is search and try.
Swinging in Baby Steps
Start with a double date, if you’ve found a couple to swing with (or couples), get to know them briefly. It would be ideal to simply meet up prior to the actual swinging action so you can prepare for reality. See if they are what they are meant to be, and if they aren’t, if there is no connection, just walk away – at least you aren’t leaving them in the bed ready to go…
There are bound to be ups and downs with swinging just as there are with any relationship. Just because you are swinging doesn’t mean there are no emotions involved – but as previously stated try to remember that physical intimacy and love are two separate things.
As hard as it may be to believe, many swinger couples claim that swinging brought them closer together. Claiming this fact creates a disconnection from sexual pleasure and brings forth a deeper appreciation for their connection and relationship. Saying it disproves jealousy and possessiveness once realising that nothing can break or change the strength of your relationship.
At some stage, in your own time or once comfortable enough with the swinging community, make your way to a swinger’s party or a swinging club. There are likely more swingers around than you think – just as said before, head online and a quick search will find you an actual location. Remembering again what was mentioned earlier in this article, that swingers live a lavish lifestyle – dress in style, look nice and look good. Punctuality is key with swinging, you don’t want to walk in once everyone’s on with their business.
Swinging is easy to do and easy to join. The lifestyle of swinging should be one of thrills, excitement, and fun and should only be indulged in by those who can honestly handle it. Just remember to have fun 🙂
