For men, having gay sex can be a daunting prospect especially if they have never done it before. What kind of etiquette is there? How do you flirt properly? And of course – how do you decide who is on top and who is on the bottom? All of these questions may seem rather silly to most gay men, but for guys who don’t play with other guys often, or who are starting out and what to know how to do it properly, these are indeed very valid questions!
Sex with Other Men: Where To Begin
Nowadays there are a lot of opportunities when it comes to meeting other people for sex. Online sex communities and adult dating sites, in particular, are often your best bet. Men tend to be a lot more straightforward and liberal when it comes to meeting for sex as well: so, you need to be prepared for a slew of messages which can be incredibly forward. For those who are just starting out and want to take things slow, it is best to ignore the usual “Wanna fuck?” messages and try to meet up with someone that you can slowly get to know.
This is because you also need to match one another. You need to determine whether or not you are not only going to enjoy sex but enjoy each other’s company. If you are a beginner, then you will want to have someone that you can also spend time with, ask questions and will generally feel safe around.
Getting Down to Business
In returning to the question about who is on top and who is on the bottom, there is a very important thing to remember here: men do not always have to have anal sex! This is a huge myth that has been spread through the gay community in particular. There are a lot of gay men who may not even consider it sex if there is no penetration, however, it is important to remember that there are a lot of ways to pleasure one another without penetration!
Mutual masturbation, oral sex and other forms of sensual activity can help to pleasure and bring the other to orgasm. In fact, when you are just starting out (especially with a new person). You may only want to stick to specific acts – or even just acts that only you are comfortable with.
What About Attraction?
As with any kind of sexual relationship, it is important to discuss boundaries. This means talking about what might happen if one of you falls in love with the other, and whether a relationship like that is possible at all. It is important to be clear about these things. If it is purely a sex thing for you, then you will want to make this clear. If there is any form of attraction beyond sexual forming then make sure to get out of there – or re-evaluate the kind of relationship that you have.
