Masturbating is a private activity, and people don’t really set themselves up to be caught while doing it. But sometimes, shit does happen, and some masturbators who haven’t mastered (get the pun?) the drill yet get busted anyway. Here are 5 anecdotes from Reddit shared by people who got caught.
The Play-Vet-Kit Masturbating Incident
“ This was probably the worst moment of my life. I was in my parents’ bathroom playing with one of those play-vet-kit-things (the ones that came with a play-syringe, no needles, of course). I thought it was a great idea to shove the play syringe way far into myself. In the midst of me freaking out, wondering how I was going to get this motherfucker out of me, my father walks in. I screamed at the top of my lungs, he did likewise. My father ran out of the room. He never said a word to me about it, and I could not be more grateful for that. I still cringe every time I think about it.”
It Ended With Nutella and Peanut Butter Sandwiches
“I was 13 when I first fapped. Dad stormed into my room to tell me that he hit two lotto numbers. When he saw me fapping, he stopped jumping like a madman, looked me dead in the eye and said. “Come downstairs when you’re finished,” with a completely straight face. I went downstairs expecting him to beat me down; instead, he told me about how his father caught him fapping when he was 12 and how he got beat for it. We ate Nutella and peanut butter sandwiches after that.”
The One With “Evil Women”
“Mom caught me masturbating while watching porn and jacking off when I was like 13. Thankfully my back was turned and she didn’t see my dick, but she saw the shitty late night TV softcore porn that I was watching. The worst part was next morning when my grandma called me and told me to ‘stop watching those evil women’ or else.”
At Least, Friend was Supportive
“My best friend walked in on me masturbating to Justin Timberlake when he was on SNL last year… she walked in and apparently didn’t know what I was doing. (I was under the blankets) but I thought my guilty face said it all so I blurted out. “I’M MASTURBATING!” She looked me dead in the eye, shrugged, and said “let me know when you’ve finished”. Then walked out of my room and closed the door. She got me a Justin Timberlake calendar for Christmas.”
Thank Heavens for Blankets
“When I was maybe 14 I jerked off and then got really sleepy, as I’m sure is pretty common. I guess I dozed off on my bed without putting my junk away. Waking up later there was a blanket over my lap, which was weird because. I didn’t remember falling asleep with a blanket on me. . A few days later my dad said that he’d walked in on me lying in bed with my dick hanging out, and had laid a blanket on me to cover my shame. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a big enough blanket in the world for the shame that I felt at that moment.”
Learn from these stories and save yourself from the embarrassment. Happy masturbating! How long can you go without mastur
